Waiting

OK I am home in Halifax after a great week home with the folks. I am so lucky my folks are willing to help out any of us kids. I am doing much better recuperating but still tired and very slow moving. I just came home from my first trip around the block with Piper. OK my 89 yr old Nanny walks faster but Piper was very patient but bored. Now I am pooped !

Today I realized now that my surgery is over and I am on the mend I can now concentrate on the next steps of preparation for adoption. HMM not quite sure what that is as we are still waiting for a Social Worker to contact us to do the homestudy. It has been 3 months since we completed the course and had all our paperwork in. So here we are waiting. From reading other blogs and forums on adoption I know this is all part of the deal of adoption. Waiting and Waiting and more waiting. I am not really anxious yet but it is hard to prepare and get going when nothing is happening. I am reading books on adoption and parenting but still feel like it is kind of a dream right now. On the other had I say a little prayer ever now and then for our " kiddies' that may already be in the world waiting for us to be mommy and daddy. So there you have it I guess we are all just waiting. OK God I am ready so give me a sign of what is to come. For now I will enjoy our summer ( if we ever get some sun) and look forward to some camping trips with friends.

No Place Like Home

Well I am home in Glace Bay being waited on my Mom and Dad. Day 4 post op, ovary and cyst removal laproscopically. I am doing OK but very slow moving and very very tired. Something about coming home to the parents house that makes me always feel like a 13 yr old kid. Mom and Dad came to Halifax for a few days and then packed me in the car with pillows for the 5 hr trip to Cape Breton. Blaise is busy this week so it is great that I can go home with the folks. Last night we had a family supper at Nina's which was great but I was very tired. The trek to move and change position is at the moment very challenging. So I spend the day propped up in one place or another. How pitiful! I am trying to to focus on the " instant menopause" as of yet. So far so good ,I mean I suppose I thought I would have all the of symptoms at once ! I did chat with my Naturpath and going to be trying the natural way with dealing with any symptoms I may have. I think it is only fair that since my body did not quite work out the how to make a baby that I should have an easy go at menopause. LOL Oh well I will wait at see.

Right now focusing on healing and relaxing and getting lots of rest. Blaise and Piperdog are fending for themselves while I am being pampered by the folks in Glace Bay. Off to curl up with mom and watch " Judging Amy " or another lifetime rerun.

Nova Scotia Girl

Last evening Heather and Cathy and I headed to the Valley for a memorial service for Tanya's father in law. It was a very quick decision but of course we wanted to go and support Tanya and Chris. The drive down was so lovely. Everything is green , flowers blooming and sun shining on the Bay of Fundy at low tide. Absolutely breathtaking. With a memorial service on my mind it was interesting to reflect on how much we take for granted in our lives. The beauty that is so close to us in Nova Scotia is so amazing . I think memorial services forces us to take a step back and take a breath and be thankful for the gifts in our life.

Today I headed to Antigonish for the day ( the opposite direction from Kentville) and again the lush green and variety was wonderful view. Two weeks ago Blaise and I were vacationing in California Palm Desert,and LA. I am greatful that we took advantage of the opportunity to explore this part of the world but it was not as great a shiny as I had imagined. This time of year very hot and dry. Brown and more shades of brown and only greenery was not natural . The desert and Joshua Tree park was so neat to see but the snakes and dust not my favorite. I kept saying I can't wait to see green again. So my drives the last 2 days really reinforced that I am an East Coast girl and love the green, ocean and even the rain !

In one week I will be preparing for surgery. I am having my one remaining ovary removed. I am OK with this as I have come to terms with the end of my fertiliy and have moved on. However I am not crazy about hitting menopause automatically. Oh well one day at a time and I am sure I will be fine. I keep telling Blaise to enjoy pre menopause me as I may turn into a crazy person!
Change is in the air and I just have to roll with it.

A Newborns Conversation with God

I recieved this email the mothers day weekend. This was the first mother's day in a while that I was not feeling sad. Focusing on the future and the possibilites instead of focusing on what is not to be is so much easier on my heart. It kind of reminds me of an episode of " Touched by an Angel " . Yes I do admit to watching this show. It was about a family with money going through fertility treatments to no avail and they decided to adopt a baby from China. The young new angel Valerie Berinelli was assigned to the orhpange in China. I remember being so touched by the scene with all the babies in the cribs each with an "angel " watching over them. The new angel was confused to her role. The other angels informed her " There is a plan for every child and family that is meant to be. Sometimes it just takes the human parents hearts time until they are moved to follow the journey to the child of their hearts. Each child is assigned an angel to watch over them until they are united with the parents picked by God for them" Now I know why this scene has stayed with me !






A Newborn's Conversation With God


A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.' 'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.''Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.''But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.
( Anonymous)

Anntie once again

Tuesday April 21 my sister Valerie had a healthy baby girl, Anna Mae Pilling . I am so thrilled for Valerie and Jody and their family. Anna is welcomed by Miss Isabelle ( 6) Lachlan(3) and Rory (2). Isabelle is very happy that mommy can make girls ! I truly believe every child is a miracle and very special. Anna is already muched loved by a large exteded family that has yet to even meet her. I hear she may even look like Valerie. Valerie is such an inspiration to me as a mother. She was born to be a mother , I remember when Andy and Steve were babies Valerie at 61/2 was much more a little mother than I was at 9. I very muched liked being the oldest and the " boss"of my other siblings. I am so proud of my baby sister.
I am so glad that I am in a place that I can truly share in the excitement of new babies. Now that we have moved on to adoption it does make me look forward to sharing our news with family when we are going forward with a match for us. I look forward to our potential children having fun with their cousins.

Springtime

Today I spent the afternoon cleaning up the back yard. It was a sunny almost warm day and spring was in the air. The tulips and and the leaves are just starting to bud. I am waiting for news of Valeries new baby and Christine and Troy have welcomed Charlotte to their family. Last week I spent time with the Pilling kiddies and it was certainly intersting. Boy oh boy are Blaise and I in for a shock. The kids are great and full of energy. I love watching them play so joyful and carefree. Rory at 2 is very expressive and his vocabualry is huge. I asked 3 year old Lachlan what do Blaise and I need to know to be good parents. Hmm well " You just have to play with them " Then I asked so what should parents do when children don't behave like parents would like. " Well , don't yell at them just talk to them " From the mouth of babes. This made me cry it was so simple to a 3 year old us adults make things soo complicated. I have a stack of books on adoption and parenting by my bed! LOL

Blaise and I want to share our journey to build our family. I am new to blogging but thought it would be a good way to share information of our adoption journey with friends and family. Some of you are aware that we have been dealing with infertily for the past few years. It was a difficulty journey but we recieved many blessings and strenghend our marriage. Things happen for a reason and we came to realize that God was leading us towards adoption. In October I contacted Community Services to start the process. We attended an information sesssion in January and started our PRIDE classes Jan. 20. 2009. These classes are 9 weeks and they cover an overview of topics on adoption and parenting. We completed the classes March 24 and are waiting for the next step of the homestudy. We are looking forward to the next steps of this journey.

We choose Community Service route for adoption as we learned there were children in NS that are waiting in the foster care system for families. We are open to 0 - 5yr and sibling group of 2. Often siblings are separated and coming from big families if we can keep siblings together we will. So we ask you to keep us in your prayers as we wait for the next steps and for our future family members.

Love
Karen and Blaise