Reflections of Respite

Well we survived ! and had a great weekend.It was a positive experience overall however I am left feeling very confused and unsure about how to proceed with future respites. I don't know if I am ready to fully talk about it. He was a sweet boy but very challenging and so starved for affection. It was clear very early on that he was " used to the system"and some of his comments broke my heart. Getting ready for bed the first night after only knowing us for 3 hrs for instance " I never know if I am going to like respite or if they are going to like me but I love you guys and I really like it here " He also thanked me " for your hospitality and for having me in your home, I can be pretty tricky folks say ". Oh my nerves!I thought respite for older kids would be less heartbreaking boy was I wrong.


I have to really process my emotions and reactions to see how to proceed. Maybe I am way too soft hearted to do respite. I am going to try to reach out to other foster parents and respite couples to see how they cope with the potential heartbreak and deal with emotions from respite.




The journey continues !

Karen

First Respite and Bluenose Weekend

In about 4 hrs Blaise and I will be starting our first respite weekend. I am a wee bit nervous but also looking forward to this experience. We will be spending our weekend with a very " active " 9 yr boy. I had a good chat with the foster mom earlier this week and she gave me lots of information to help our weekend go smoothly.

We decided to do respite for " older children" 5 - 10yrs of age even though our profile for adoption indicates 0 - 6 yrs. I have heard wonderful stories where foster to adopt or respite for little ones has transitioned into permanent placements. However I have also heard the heartbreaking stories of foster to adopt. I may be being selfish however I have had enough heartbreak in my journey that I don't want to be set up for heartbreak. However now that the time is coming close to this respite I am thinking " Oh my nerves doing respite for older children can also cause heartbreak " What if I come to realize that older children are a better fit for us and give up my dream of adopting a younger child to nuture and grow with. I mean I have some wonderful examples of couples who were waiting and did recieve infant adoption. These stories have opened my heart to the hope that this may be in the stars for me and Blaise.

Anyhoo we will enjoy our weekend and I am sure we will have a great weekend and learn some new things and grow from this experience.


I am running 10 K in the Bluenose this weekend as as " primer " for Cabot Trail Relay 15K next weekend. I am so excited to get out on the road with so many folks and to feel the thrill of accomplishment of completing this race. I have trained ( not too hard ) and I love the feeling of being alive while runnning and on the cool down. Every cell in your body gets energized from running and it is an awsome experience. I am so proud of myself for taking the leap and starting on my running path. My goal for next year is the 1/2 Marathon for the Bluenose.


Here's to a great May long weekend.

Cheers
Karen

Mother's Day

Another Mother's Day is almost here. This year I don't want to hide away and pretend that I don't know " what day it is "! Another year trying to find peace and grace as we wait and wait for God to open the eyes of our heart to the plan for our family. I have not had much new to say, I know I know I am never at a loss for words but I think I have said it all. I am waiting ! We are waiting and we are living.

On a rainy Saturday night with the hockey game on in the background( Go Canucks Go !) I have been browsing Catholic adoption blogs and looking for some inspiring poems or music to lift my spirits this Mother's Day. I came across this song and I love it and going to seek out other music by this group.

Your love Never Fails