Letting Go of Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of the universe; your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of all that's within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.

And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"
— Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles")

Wow I have always loved this quote. One day I have to commit to doing the Course in Miracles. I have signed up to receive newsletters from Marianne Williamson and this quote was on the latest newsletter. Just what I needed to be reminded of today.

I have been struggling over the weekend because I received wonderful news about a friend of mine who has been waiting for and infant adoption for 8 years. Today they picked up their baby boy. I am so thrilled for them but have mixed feelings because I am fearful that Blaise and I will not get to experience that joyful call and rush to prepare for a child to enter our family.

However received a very special blessing this morning in my meditation. While I was meditating and deep breathing I had a sense of peace and presence and a knowing that I had to let go of my sadness, let go, let go and live joyfully and " I am with you " voice calmed me and supported me. Goose bump and joyful tears time. OK GOD you are shouting at me again ! I am also very moved by music and often a church song will get stuck in my head after a mediation. This morning( in the shower) I started to sing " Only a shadow ". "The love I have for you is only a shadow of my love for you,only a shadow of my love for you ,my deep abiding love " Yep another goose bump moment.

So no looking back only forward one moment and one day at a time. Our joyful day will come.


Nameste
Karen

Winter Walk : Good for the Soul

I can't believe it is the end of January already ! WOW, Hmm how am I doing being calm and focused ? Well lately not that great. I am really restless, and very emotional lately. I really have to go back to my Chopra Center book and review what I need to do to bring balance to my " Pitta Vatta" life.

I have decided that we have to get our " house" in order. Literally lots of house projects and mind body spirit preparation and organization. Blaise and I are so easy going that we " kind" of have a plan but hey just like Piper if something fun comes along Oh yeah we are in !

I just needed some time in the woods with my honey and my doggy today. It did me a world of good. Unfortuately the sun was gone when we got out but it was a great walk at Long Lake ( on the lake). Jasper joined us as well so Piper and Jasper who have not had a run together in a long time had a great walk.

Thanks Blaise for our walk this afternoon. I feel much more balanced

Here are a few pictures.

Make your own digital greeting

Short List

I mentioned in October that we attended a Special Needs Adoption Day ( SNA Day )and put our profile forward for a 5 year old girl. Well yesterday we received a call from Linda ( adoption worker )for an update. We were not the successful candidate but we did make the " short list " . To be honest I really had almost forgotten about this possibility but to hear for sure that it was a " NO GO " really made me sad. I am happy that this little girl will be adopted and that a lucky couple are very excited. After all it is all about finding homes for children not " children for couples ".

I truly believe that things happen for a reason but" HELLO GOD " when is it going to me our turn? I have never gone down the road of " what is wrong with me during infertility " and have never gone " what is wrong with us " for adoption but I, WE are only human. I did not sleep well last night. I really relied on my meditation, prayer and energy work to not let myself have a " Pity Party for One " , while Blaise was snoring by the way ! I kept coming back to it is not our time, we will be blessed and GOD has something really special waiting for us.

However lately I have been thinking alot about twins. Last night I had a dream about 1 yr old twins a boy and a girl. Is it a sign ? I guess time will tell.

So I am OK and know that our time will come and I am only human and it is OK to be " a little sad " that waiting is the story of our life at present.

On another note, moving forward we are going forward with doing respite for foster families and this approval requires an addition to our home study. So this will be another process and waiting.

Looking forward to our vacation to Punta Cana in February with Danielle and Roy. Beach, sun and fruity drinks , Ah RELAX ! Nice way to " wait "

Cheers
Karen

Welcome 2011

Wow 2011 ! Remember when we had a hard time getting used to the next decade ! Time to start fresh and another chance to do it right this year. In looking back to last year I was very hopeful and optimistic for what 2010 was going to bring my way. Not that I am not hopeful this year I think I am more contained in my hopes and don't really have any " great expectations " this year. My plan is to continue to stay in the " now" and concentrate on being grateful for what I have in my life. 2010 was a crazy busy year at work for me with lots of travel. I enjoyed the opportunities and experiences but I am looking forward to staying put in NS for the most part this year.

I have been so busy busy I feel like I need to slow down and create some space in my life. I have been trying to think of what my theme for 2011 is going to be.

My theme for 2011 : Calm and Focus


Here's to 2011 one moment and one day at a time

Nameste