Another year is over

I was going to post a delightful,thoughtful and reflective post for the end of the year. I am running out the door to celebrate New Years with Thai food and good friends and of course the World Junior Hockey game! 2011 was a busy year for us and we enjoyed three fabulous vacation trips (Cuba, Calgary & Hungary ).

In the past year I have grown and learned valuable lessons and had some healing along the way. I ran my first 10K and attempted the the CabotTrail relay. I started a new job as nurse educator which I absolutely love and keeps me challenged and busy and I started a meditation practice and leaned closer to my Catholic faith.

I am so blessed to have a wonderful family and network of friends and of course Blaise in my life. He keeps me laughing, and always knows when to say something or to just let me be. His strength and quiet faith and easy going attitude towards life helps to balance my roller coaster of emotions and whims. He is my greatest gift and I am so blessed. Yes I am so blessed so blessed indeed.


Happy New Year and hears to a joy filled adventurous 2012 !

Cheers
Karen

While I am Waiting

Beautiful hopeful song for the Advent Season of waiting and resonates so much for me as I am waiting.

Blessings Karen

Leaning into 40

I can't believe that I am 40? How can that be when I still only feel 25? My motto for the year is Forty Fit and Fabulous ! Age is really a number and I have learned from my experience with working as a nurse and meeting wonderful joyful elderly that it is your spirit and outlook on life that count.

I try to embrace life and take each day as it comes and take responsibility for my attitude and reaction to others around me. I was very sentimental yesterday and the week leading up to my birthday. It has been a wonderful year and Blaise and I have had a lot of fun and travel adventures yet our hearts still are not complete as we continue to wait. The past few months have been more challenging and I have had to turn to prayer to get me through some rough spots of hoping and waiting. I guess I don't mind turning 40 as an age I just am sad that we don't have any children to share and celebrate milestones with. There I said it ! Oh my nerves why do I think I have to be strong all the time and not acknowledge that it is very very emotionally draining to be on the roller coaster of waiting to adopt. I keep thinking maybe we are being too picky, is this really really what we want?

When it comes right down to it my hearts desire is to be a mother and to share parenting with Blaise. I just finished the Alpha course at my church and really enjoyed it and grew in faith and meet some lovely people in my church. It is time for us to stop " sitting at the back " and to start participating in our church community. We have to start making some changes and not " sitting back " and waiting. Yes we enjoy life but lately I am thinking we keep ourselves so busy so we don't have time to really remember that we don't have kids to share our lives with.

So I continue to try to live with a focus on the blessings I do have in my life. I received some beautiful cards for my birthday. My mother gave me such a lovely card,

" You're a great joy giver from God an you've been a special gift since you day you were born " WOW thanks MOM !

With my friends I have a tradition that I ask three birthday questions. This started at work and now I use it with everyone !

1) If you could have dinner with anyone( living /famous or other) who would it be ?
This year I picked Micheal Bouble !
2)What are you most proud of from the past year ?
Training and running Bluenose 10K and Cabot Trail Relay ( although I was slow !)
3) What is your with for the coming year?
To be at peace and let God take control of my life


I had a wonderful birthday. I spent some time at church in the morning for adoration and it really helped to set me on the right course. " I AM with YOU " was my take away from my time in prayer. Then Piper and I had a great walk at Point Pleasent Park. Piper heals and teaches me on every walk. Then I had a spa afternoon and went of supper and drinks with friends.

What a wonderful birthday and Blaise made sure everything was perfect ( if not last minute LOL) He writes the most beautiful cards but this year his card did not need any additions it was perfect.

I am so blessed and I have a responsibility to live each day to the fullest and I plan to strive for this in the coming year.

Many Blessings

Nameste

Advent: A Season of Waiting

Advent is here once again. I have always loved this special time of my Christian faith. Each year I have become more aware of how the spirit of giving and being present and open to receiving gifts is an important part of my spiritual journey. I am annoyed with the " culture of Christmas" of give more spend more and how our society ignores the more important messages of hope, and using our time, talents and treasures to do the Lord's work on earth.

Once again I am reminded that Advent means "waiting". Hmm how can I use this time of spiritual preparation to help heal my heart that is almost broke with the ache of waiting to be a mother. In reflecting on Advent and the miracle of "Mary's Yes" I find myself moved to use this time to have a special devotion to Mary. The blessed mother was a young women afraid of the circumstance she found herself yet trusted in God's providence and allowed " His will to be done". Powerful message of hope and trust and I pray that young women who find themselves pregnant can find the courage, support and faith to choose adoption for there child. In our culture of " quick fixes' abortion is often chooses over adoption. I support a women's right to make the right choice for her body however pray that adoption will triumph over abortion.


I also am finding comfort in Advent as a time of waiting. The waiting in Advent is joyful and expectant. However I am lately finding " waiting", numbing, sad and taking too much of my energy and draining my spirit. Some family members say " oh you must be so excited as you wait for adoption " or forget to even ask us how we are doing. I am so thankful for family and friends who " get it " and have the courage to ask how we are doing and let me know they are praying for us.

So in this first week of advent as I reflect of the " Yes" of Mary I will try to turn my sorrowful waiting into joyful waiting of the unfolding of the dream that God has choosen for Blaise and I to live out as parents. I also have to start to accept that perhaps being parents is not in God's plan for us and he is calling us to spiritual parenthood in another form of service. My hope and wish is that I will continue to have the courage and faith to " say yes Lord " to whatever plan he has for my life.


Many Blessing this Advent and Christmas

Karen

November is Adoption Month

Adoption as an option is my mantra lately. I find it so sad that I don't really see much promotion or advocacy for adoption as an option in Nova Scotia. I know some provinces are doing great work in this area. As I go through this journey and rollercoaster of waiting and from experiences from Special Needs Adoption Day I can't help but wonder if adoption was promoted would many of the situations that children in the system go through have been avoided.

I have to clarify that we fully went into adoption not expecting to adopt an infant and fully aware that we would be open to age range up to 6 yrs old. However lately I have been feeling that I want to do more to promote and support adoption as an option. I don't have any idea how this will look and if I have the heart to do this while I am " waiting".

Right now with November being adoption month I am praying for all the children in care, women struggling with unplanned pregnancy and for strength to continue our hopeful waiting.

Karen

I've Decided to Be Happy

Amazing song that was the opening meditation for Salutation Nation Halifax. 100 People doing yoga on a sunny Saturday what an amazing way to start the day. I have not been writing lately as nothing has changed. However I am continuing on our journey and remain hopefull. However as I approach my 40th birthday in December I am sensing a shift. I spent so much of my thirties focused on trying to get pregnant, decerning if adoption was for me and then waiting. If nothing happens soon I think I am getting closer to being at peace with moving on. I have not made any decisions but I am finding waiting very draining on my energy and I am feeling fine with my life. I remember before I met Blaise "I decided, I am OK if I don't meet a life partner". This was so freeing and shortly after this ephiphany I meet my soul mate. Will next transition be the same ? I leave that up to the infinite power of divine.

This song really touched me and I don't think I will ever be able to listen to it without tears of joy. It touches my soul deeply and I want to share this with others no matter what your life's journey we each have to make decisions along our path.

I am so blessed.

Nameste

Curry European Adventure

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