Divine Dog

Divine Dog

Today I recieved the most beautiful video and song about dogs. Of course I cried.Piper dog has certainly taught me many lessons. He is very intuitive to my emotions. During my struggles with inferitliy he was there to let me cry and and let me hug him and lick my tears away. He has taught me to try to live in the moment and walking meditations in the woods or park with him have been special blessings in my life. It makes me happy thinking of how Piper dog will assit our adopted children settle into our home.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H17edn_RZoY

Nameste
Karen

Running

I finally did it, I finally signed up for learn to run clinic and I did not die. I have always wanted to run but did not make it a priority. So here I go,!

No news yet on adoption but I am OK with that and learning to be patient. However first thing I do when I get home is check the anwering machine.

Nameste
Karen

Balance

I have just had the most amazing two weeks. It is really nice to finally feel like I getting rebalnced and back to " me ". The week after Labor Day I was in Banff for a week of work and meetings. It was amazing, weather was warm and clear and the view of the mountains from my room and conference room was do die for.
The meeting was for an Aborigianl Health project that I am working on. We started our day with a prayer and welcome from an elder and a sharing circle. Very powerful to include the spiritual component to the meeting. I was overcome some days with pure joy and knowing that I was meant to be in that place. Things happen for a reason and the energy of the mountains and land was very much present for our discusions.

On Saturday I hiked Sulphur Mountain with Andy, Amanda and her family. It was 2,5 hrs and Sheely and I held up the back. What a feeling to make it to the top , Ok I am pitifully out of shape. Definiely another mountain top experiece for sure.

When I came home I decided to go back to yoga classes. My first night back I almost crided I felt at home on my mat. Ahh Breathe ! The energy and movement of energy in yoga is what I love and that yummy feeling at the end of a class. The mind, body, spirit connection as well is what I enjoy from yoga. I need this help keep me balanced and remember my mountain top experiences and take them with my in my work and day.

I need to be balanced and free to allow my heart to be opened to the gift of children . Especially if they are broken and need special healing. So far menopause and I have reached an agreement, I accept you are present but I am not letting you control my life ! Again balance !

I started reading " The power of Now " Eckhart Tolle , I picked it up in the Calgary airport. It is such a Karen book. Too bad we have to read so many books with similar messages to really get it. I accept infertility and menopause but there i still is that draw to 'poor me" boy oh boy the mind likes to try to suck us down into our pitiful selves ! Really great read and one that needs to be returned to again and again ! Unforutnately as if we GOT IT how different life would be.

I am happy to say that Zachary Daniel King was welcomed into the world 2 weeks early Sept. 12, 2009. He is precious and I have a great story for himn as I learned of his birht on Andy and Pauls' football pool !

Nameste
Karen

September Start of a new year

I love September it still feels like the start of the year for me. I think I enjoy it more than New Years. The weather starts to cool off and new beginnings of school and projects and work gets into high gear again. September makes me nostaligic for boing back to school and the fun of the first week back at classes at St.FX. Oh my nerves those were the crazy days. So much fun.

Today in church there was not one but two Christenings. OK lord you really do know how to try my strengh and resolve. I am soo much better than I was a year ago at handling these surprses and not almost passout from trying to hold in my tears. I am OK to let one or 2 slip away and I really do feel the spirt moving in me. Today was was daydreaming about when we will be Christening our adopted children. So I am very hopeful and know it is going to happen and trying to visualize and be calm but I want it right now.

I have enjoyed looking at my friends summer pictures and first day of school pictures and looking forward to that for our family. However it does remind me of when I was single and " all" my friends were married and I felt left out of the the club. I felt then like I do know that something wonderful and amazing is in store for me and that God will answer my prayers in a way that I could not even imagine.

So even with my moments of frustration I am hopeful and patiently waiting.

I am also patiently waiting for baby King to arrive the end of September and baby Stiles. I am so happy for Leah and Sylvia and can't wait to welcome their bundle of joy to the world. It is very humbling to watch my friends go through the journey of motherhood.

Que sera sera !

Karen

Community Services Contact

Phone call today from Community Services. Our file is in order and has everything required. Next step to wait for contact from social worker to do homestudy. No time frame can be given but I am glad to know that at least we have been looked at and in the pile to get going ! So more waiting. So know I hope we have homestudy before Christmas time. Am I setting myself up by setting sometimeline. Who knows but for me it works. Too bad I was secretly hoping we may have a child in our home for Christmas. Perhaps I have to adjust my expectations ! So more waiting.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Hot weather and Hormones

OK I am so unfocused . I just wrote a blog on the "O'donnel family blog" So my family will know how crazy I am. LOL The Hot weather is wonderful such a treat. However this has coincided with my hormones going all wacky. I really truly thought that I would be OK and not have any of the menopause symptoms. ( surgically induced)

I am working with my Naturpath to balance me and waiting for saliva test to give hormone levels. I don't like not feeling like myself and being so irritable and not able to sleep. It is like puberty but so much more intense. I also am feeling a bit cheated and realize I almost have to go through grief process. Geez I just finished that with Infertiliy. I have read that women who go through infertiliy often are reminded of the stuggle and losses of infertility when going through memopause. So I find myself reminded again thinking again how unfair that my biology has let me down and I have no control what so ever.

It sucks quite frankly and I am mad ! I guess I have to go throught the stages of grief all over again. I mean not like everyday I am thinking about it but in my experience trying to push ugly feelings down only makes them crop up at weird times.

So I am going to do all I can to be balanced and enjoy life and deal with all these intense emotions and feelings. OH me nerves bye ! I still believe things happen for a reason so I am not suprised that we have not moved forward in adoption as I have to work through this crazy period of my life first. On the other hand I just want to hurry up and be a Mom.

Que sera sera !

Menopausal Momma