Advent is here once again. I have always loved this special time of my Christian faith. Each year I have become more aware of how the spirit of giving and being present and open to receiving gifts is an important part of my spiritual journey. I am annoyed with the " culture of Christmas" of give more spend more and how our society ignores the more important messages of hope, and using our time, talents and treasures to do the Lord's work on earth.
Once again I am reminded that Advent means "waiting". Hmm how can I use this time of spiritual preparation to help heal my heart that is almost broke with the ache of waiting to be a mother. In reflecting on Advent and the miracle of "Mary's Yes" I find myself moved to use this time to have a special devotion to Mary. The blessed mother was a young women afraid of the circumstance she found herself yet trusted in God's providence and allowed " His will to be done". Powerful message of hope and trust and I pray that young women who find themselves pregnant can find the courage, support and faith to choose adoption for there child. In our culture of " quick fixes' abortion is often chooses over adoption. I support a women's right to make the right choice for her body however pray that adoption will triumph over abortion.
I also am finding comfort in Advent as a time of waiting. The waiting in Advent is joyful and expectant. However I am lately finding " waiting", numbing, sad and taking too much of my energy and draining my spirit. Some family members say " oh you must be so excited as you wait for adoption " or forget to even ask us how we are doing. I am so thankful for family and friends who " get it " and have the courage to ask how we are doing and let me know they are praying for us.
So in this first week of advent as I reflect of the " Yes" of Mary I will try to turn my sorrowful waiting into joyful waiting of the unfolding of the dream that God has choosen for Blaise and I to live out as parents. I also have to start to accept that perhaps being parents is not in God's plan for us and he is calling us to spiritual parenthood in another form of service. My hope and wish is that I will continue to have the courage and faith to " say yes Lord " to whatever plan he has for my life.
Many Blessing this Advent and Christmas
Karen
I love how you have tied waiting in seasons of our lives with the waiting at advent. The waiting during an adoption journey is such a hard wait, unlike any other. I know that it is cliche to say that it is worth it, but there is a reason that everyone says that...because it's true. Your time will come and then you will have a better understanding of why you had to wait...because if it weren't for the exact length of your wait, you wouldn't have that particular child.
ReplyDeleteP.S. There is a song called "While I'm Waiting" that I found particularly powerful during our last adoption wait.
Thanks Sharla,
ReplyDeleteThank you for you kind words and for your lovely blog. I did look up the song " While I'm Waiting" very powerful reminder that it is " not about me "
Karen