Friday, January 21, 2011

Short List

I mentioned in October that we attended a Special Needs Adoption Day ( SNA Day )and put our profile forward for a 5 year old girl. Well yesterday we received a call from Linda ( adoption worker )for an update. We were not the successful candidate but we did make the " short list " . To be honest I really had almost forgotten about this possibility but to hear for sure that it was a " NO GO " really made me sad. I am happy that this little girl will be adopted and that a lucky couple are very excited. After all it is all about finding homes for children not " children for couples ".

I truly believe that things happen for a reason but" HELLO GOD " when is it going to me our turn? I have never gone down the road of " what is wrong with me during infertility " and have never gone " what is wrong with us " for adoption but I, WE are only human. I did not sleep well last night. I really relied on my meditation, prayer and energy work to not let myself have a " Pity Party for One " , while Blaise was snoring by the way ! I kept coming back to it is not our time, we will be blessed and GOD has something really special waiting for us.

However lately I have been thinking alot about twins. Last night I had a dream about 1 yr old twins a boy and a girl. Is it a sign ? I guess time will tell.

So I am OK and know that our time will come and I am only human and it is OK to be " a little sad " that waiting is the story of our life at present.

On another note, moving forward we are going forward with doing respite for foster families and this approval requires an addition to our home study. So this will be another process and waiting.

Looking forward to our vacation to Punta Cana in February with Danielle and Roy. Beach, sun and fruity drinks , Ah RELAX ! Nice way to " wait "

Cheers
Karen

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Welcome 2011

Wow 2011 ! Remember when we had a hard time getting used to the next decade ! Time to start fresh and another chance to do it right this year. In looking back to last year I was very hopeful and optimistic for what 2010 was going to bring my way. Not that I am not hopeful this year I think I am more contained in my hopes and don't really have any " great expectations " this year. My plan is to continue to stay in the " now" and concentrate on being grateful for what I have in my life. 2010 was a crazy busy year at work for me with lots of travel. I enjoyed the opportunities and experiences but I am looking forward to staying put in NS for the most part this year.

I have been so busy busy I feel like I need to slow down and create some space in my life. I have been trying to think of what my theme for 2011 is going to be.

My theme for 2011 : Calm and Focus


Here's to 2011 one moment and one day at a time

Nameste

Monday, December 27, 2010

What has happned to "Old Fashioned Christmas "

Being home for Christmas always brings back memories of how we spent Christmas as kids. Times sure have changed as we always had lots of snow and were able to ski and skate on Christmas holidays. Today green Christmas's are becoming the norm.

I miss being able to go out into the cold and skate on the back rink and then rush home to play with games and toys from Christmas. Walks in the woods and ski-dooing was in the deep snow was always a Christmas tradition.

Today we had a crazy snow/rain/sleet but more rain than snow. What has happend to a good ol' winter storm. However the recent wind and rain has destroyed much of the coastline and my favorite beach close to home Dominion Beach had the entrance boardwalk destoyed.

This Christmas was quiet as Valerie and her family went to Ingonish so it was mainly adults around for Christmas. Nice to spend time with Steven and Laura, Allie and Mason. The missing presence of uncle Doug was felt by eveyone in our family but we celebrated Christmas with his presence in our hearts.

Santa was very good to me and I know have a new " big girl " camera Canon EOS TDi DSLR. Now I have to learn how to use it but I have been snapping lots of pictures. Piperdog is going to be my main subject.

I had a few "weak" moments this Christmas. The Christmas music and the empasis on children and family really got to me this year. The veil of spirit is so close at Christmas that I let my guard down and allowed myself to feel blessed for all I have but sad to my core that I don't have children of my own to share in the spirit and magic of Christmas.

Looking forward to slowing down this year and not creating so much busyness. Very reflecful and quiet as 2010 comes to a close.

Nameste
Karen

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Curry Family Reunion

Another fun weekend in Antigonish for the Curry family reunion. I think this year was the 31st year of the family gathering together at the end of November to celebrate family... it all started to celebrate Nana (Mary) Curry's birthday.

What a wonderful legacy and tradition. Still about 50 family and extended family and family friends come together to sing, laugh and just hang out. I am so blessed to be part of this special family. Last night watching the " Senoir Choir" sing their 4 part harmony of the old songs from the 20's and 30's I was very touched because I know that some of these folks are getting older and to not take them for granted.

Blaise's dad Joe should have been on Broadway ! He is so expressive and loves to entertain, he's a natural at the mike! His favorites are "Maime Riley" and "Seven old Ladies". The "younger choir" gets going with the guitars and all sorts of music late in the eveing (past 1AM) Good times and a wonderful tradition.

This year we also celebrated a wedding for Blaise's cousin Lisa. Mark certainly received a great welcome to the familiy.

As well this weekend being the first weekend of Advent is also a time of reflection for me. A time of "waiting". Well Blaise and I are getting to be experts at waiting. Adoption process is all about waiting and waiting and trusting that when it is meant to be the right child or children will come into our lives. I just feel so tired this week and realize that I have filled my life with so much "stuff" and activities that I have still not created "space" for children in my life. Am I keeping busy to avoid really "going there" to avoid my feelings and avoid being sad and spending time with my hurt about not being able to have a children ! Oh dear where did that one come from.

We try to live in the present and enjoy each day but are both very very busy with work , Blaise with refereeing and me with running, yoga, commitees and school work. Piperdog does keep us both in the present and I am very thankful for his joyful presence in our home.

I guess this time of year and this family celebrating brings things closer to the surface and it is OK to be "a little bit sad" however the spirit of Christmas always makes me feel like a kid anyway and I like to focus on my blessings and be hopefull for the future.

Little one (or big one), wherever you are, we are waiting and I know the big Curry family will be very happy to welcome you to the family. That will be a very joyous day for sure.

Que sera sera

Karen