Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mothers Day
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. William Ernest Henley
OK so not a normal Mother's Day poem, however I was inspired by this movie and poem this week. On my trip to Calgary for work this week I watched Avatar on the way out and Invictus on the way home. Both movies were so inspiring and full of hope and all that is best and what can be in the world. The story of Nelson Medela and his leadership is fascinating and such a great message of hope and healing. So it is the hope and healing that inspires me.
Infertiliy at times was like a black pit however I found the hope and healing to move forward toward adoption. Today a "part of me is sad" as no one calls me mommy or momma today, however my heart is beating with the hope of being a mom to a child/children that are meant for me and Blaise. Only a part of me is sad not my whole being and the ache of infertility is now filled with hope.
I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul. In honoring my soul I am continuing to run, practice yoga and have registered for a retreat at White Point from the Chopra Centre staff. I can't wait to do yoga and learn meditation techniques close to the beach. Blaise is very patient and lets me participate in activities that nourish my soul. His response "a happy, blissful wife makes my life happy ".
Happy Mother's day to all the mothers in my life. I am blessed to have so many wonderful role models. Thank you Leah for touching base with me today. I am so blessed to have amazing friends. So little one or little ones, wherever you are, we are ready and can't wait to meet you and start our journey together.
Nameste
Karen
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. William Ernest Henley
OK so not a normal Mother's Day poem, however I was inspired by this movie and poem this week. On my trip to Calgary for work this week I watched Avatar on the way out and Invictus on the way home. Both movies were so inspiring and full of hope and all that is best and what can be in the world. The story of Nelson Medela and his leadership is fascinating and such a great message of hope and healing. So it is the hope and healing that inspires me.
Infertiliy at times was like a black pit however I found the hope and healing to move forward toward adoption. Today a "part of me is sad" as no one calls me mommy or momma today, however my heart is beating with the hope of being a mom to a child/children that are meant for me and Blaise. Only a part of me is sad not my whole being and the ache of infertility is now filled with hope.
I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul. In honoring my soul I am continuing to run, practice yoga and have registered for a retreat at White Point from the Chopra Centre staff. I can't wait to do yoga and learn meditation techniques close to the beach. Blaise is very patient and lets me participate in activities that nourish my soul. His response "a happy, blissful wife makes my life happy ".
Happy Mother's day to all the mothers in my life. I am blessed to have so many wonderful role models. Thank you Leah for touching base with me today. I am so blessed to have amazing friends. So little one or little ones, wherever you are, we are ready and can't wait to meet you and start our journey together.
Nameste
Karen
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Stars on Ice
I went to see Stars on Ice tonight with Danielle and Grace. It was fantastic. I have not really paid much attention to figure skating in 10 years. However with the great Canadian showing at the Olympics I was interested in going. Of course I have always loved Kurt Browning and he did not disappoint. What a showman ! He even skated in hockey skates. The gold medal sweethearts Virture and Moir we beautiful and their gold medal routine brought tears to my eyes.
6 year old Grace really got into the show and loved the music and the sparkly dresses of the girls. Her expressions and hoots and standing ovations were very cute. After the first standing ovation she asked her mom " Why are we standing up and cheering, can't we just yell sitting down ? Daniellle explained that if she thought that a skater did a really really special job then a standing ovation is a way of shwoing appreciation. She stood for every skater after that !
Thanks Dan and Grace for a fun night
Today is 10 years officially from the date Blaise and I met at the Bayplex by the bar ! Yep we each still insist that the other offered to buy a beer. Wow 10 years, goes by very quickly. Lots of fun times and adventures. I am truly blessed to have Blaise in my life. I try not to take his presence for granted. However at present we are both watching the Penguins and Ottawa game and nervous for OT. I am so happy he is patient with me and my crush on Sidney Crosby ( me and millions of others) of course he likes to remind me I am way too old for him. My reply is " Well in my daydreams I am only 25 ! ( another reminder that I am a " cougar" to Crosby )
Ah what a sweet honey I have ! 10 years and many more to come
6 year old Grace really got into the show and loved the music and the sparkly dresses of the girls. Her expressions and hoots and standing ovations were very cute. After the first standing ovation she asked her mom " Why are we standing up and cheering, can't we just yell sitting down ? Daniellle explained that if she thought that a skater did a really really special job then a standing ovation is a way of shwoing appreciation. She stood for every skater after that !
Thanks Dan and Grace for a fun night
Today is 10 years officially from the date Blaise and I met at the Bayplex by the bar ! Yep we each still insist that the other offered to buy a beer. Wow 10 years, goes by very quickly. Lots of fun times and adventures. I am truly blessed to have Blaise in my life. I try not to take his presence for granted. However at present we are both watching the Penguins and Ottawa game and nervous for OT. I am so happy he is patient with me and my crush on Sidney Crosby ( me and millions of others) of course he likes to remind me I am way too old for him. My reply is " Well in my daydreams I am only 25 ! ( another reminder that I am a " cougar" to Crosby )
Ah what a sweet honey I have ! 10 years and many more to come
Friday, April 2, 2010
"There' s no place like home"
I love coming home to my parents house and Glace Bay. You can see the ocean from almsot every point in Glace Bay. This morning it was really thick fog but you could tell the sun was going to break out. Being Good Friday it was a very quiet and almost reverent kind of day. I went for a run and tried to focus on my surroundings and being strong and following each breath. It is an amazing feeling although very hard to keep with you. Running in the fog was lovely as I am still feeling sad. However I found the fog very comforting and tried to "find my path" along the way. I am realizing I can use running as a meditation and if I try to stop my " monkey mind thoughts" I can not only strenghen my body by running but I can strenghten my meditative prayerful practice as well.
Many blessings for this Easter Weekend.
Nameste
Karen
Many blessings for this Easter Weekend.
Nameste
Karen
Thursday, April 1, 2010
10 Years
Wow it has been 10 years since Blaise and I meet at the Simmons Tournament at home in 2000. We are getting ready to hit the road to the Bay today for Easter weekend and the tournament. It is always a fun time and hanging out at the Bayplex, it brings back memories of junior high and high school at the old Fourum watching hockey.
I have to admit that the past few years have been challenging to sit and watch all the kids play and cheer for " daddy". This year I may not spend as much time at the rink as I am feeling kind of vulnerable. I told myself I was not going to set any timelines in the journey to adoption however I realized this week that I unconsciously kind of hoped that maybe this year I would be going to the rink with a little one to cheer on daddy. OK I said it out loud ! Oh my nerves why do I set myself up like this. I realy really thought I was not setting any timelines and was real with my feelings.
Well I am human and Easter is another kid intense holiday with new life, and joy and kites and pail and shovels. I am going to try to focus on what Easter is all about and ask for the Lord to bless us on our journey and be grateful for all the blessings I have right now in our life.
I am also going to focus on getting fit and my running and set new goals in this area. Oh yeah a goldern retiriever puppy and a trip to Scotland and Ireland are on my list as well. !
Nameste
Karen
I have to admit that the past few years have been challenging to sit and watch all the kids play and cheer for " daddy". This year I may not spend as much time at the rink as I am feeling kind of vulnerable. I told myself I was not going to set any timelines in the journey to adoption however I realized this week that I unconsciously kind of hoped that maybe this year I would be going to the rink with a little one to cheer on daddy. OK I said it out loud ! Oh my nerves why do I set myself up like this. I realy really thought I was not setting any timelines and was real with my feelings.
Well I am human and Easter is another kid intense holiday with new life, and joy and kites and pail and shovels. I am going to try to focus on what Easter is all about and ask for the Lord to bless us on our journey and be grateful for all the blessings I have right now in our life.
I am also going to focus on getting fit and my running and set new goals in this area. Oh yeah a goldern retiriever puppy and a trip to Scotland and Ireland are on my list as well. !
Nameste
Karen
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Temporaily Waiting
I have not posted lately as I do not have any news to share. We recieved our final approval on Feb.1 and are waiting to meet with our adoption social worker. However it will take time and we have to wait. I have been so busy with work that I have not had much time to focus on waiting. I have been doing some reading and scanning adopttion websites and blogs. I came across this song from Carrie Underwood. Temporay home, beautiful message. So I am termporaily waiting and trying to see the blessings in every day. I also say a little prayer for my " rugrats" wherever they are.
Blessings Karen
Enjoy the song.
Blessings Karen
Enjoy the song.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Prayer for Adotptive Parents
Week one of 2010 almost complete. It has been a year since we began our journey. Today we recieved word that our file will be reiviewed the end of January. I am trying to practice patience and graditude this year. I came across a beautiful prayer on another site. This prayer really speaks to my heart.
The “Prayer of Abandonment” for Adoptive Parents
Father, we abandon ourselves into your hands,
to send a child … or not … as you see fit.
You by whom the Word was made flesh,
send us a miracle, if this is what you desire.
Or lead us to her, if that be your will.
We do not ask for guarantees; no parent can.
Only light enough for the very next step.
We do not ask for a perfect child,
nor can we promise to be perfect parents.
Whatever you choose for us, whatever you desire
we abandon ourselves to your perfect will.
We are ready to offer our daily “yes,”
until that perfect will be revealed in us.
And until, at last perfected, we bear witness
to the work of redemption you began in Eden.
We love you, Lord, and offer ourselves to you,
wholly and without reservation.
We surrender ourselves, moment by moment,
knowing that this is only the first small step
Of a lifetime of surrender,
so that we may be made more perfect in love.
That we might imitate, on earth as in heaven,
the redemptive love
the adoptive love
the selfless love
with which you first loved us.
From Extradordinary Mom's Network
Heidi Hass Saxton
http://extraordinarymomsnetwork.wordpress.com
The “Prayer of Abandonment” for Adoptive Parents
Father, we abandon ourselves into your hands,
to send a child … or not … as you see fit.
You by whom the Word was made flesh,
send us a miracle, if this is what you desire.
Or lead us to her, if that be your will.
We do not ask for guarantees; no parent can.
Only light enough for the very next step.
We do not ask for a perfect child,
nor can we promise to be perfect parents.
Whatever you choose for us, whatever you desire
we abandon ourselves to your perfect will.
We are ready to offer our daily “yes,”
until that perfect will be revealed in us.
And until, at last perfected, we bear witness
to the work of redemption you began in Eden.
We love you, Lord, and offer ourselves to you,
wholly and without reservation.
We surrender ourselves, moment by moment,
knowing that this is only the first small step
Of a lifetime of surrender,
so that we may be made more perfect in love.
That we might imitate, on earth as in heaven,
the redemptive love
the adoptive love
the selfless love
with which you first loved us.
From Extradordinary Mom's Network
Heidi Hass Saxton
http://extraordinarymomsnetwork.wordpress.com
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